Written by: Dan Shibilia
Let’s get the boring part out of the way first: 6,268 Methuen residents voted in Tuesday’s state primary out of 42,359 who are registered.
That’s 14.8 percent.
That is pretty wild when you consider the fact that most races were uncontested.
Of those ballots, 1,945 people asked for a Republican ballot and 4,323 asked for a Democratic one. Here’s every race, broken down, with the ones that were never actually contests called out so you don’t waste time wondering why a “race” had one name on it.
The Republican Ballot
Deaton beat Angelina for Senate, 1,666 to 5. Not a typo, five votes. Minogue beat Shortsleeve for Governor, 1,528 to 400. Oliver beat Martin for Lieutenant Governor, 1,494 to 56. Those three were the only real contests on the entire Republican ballot with more than one name in the ring.
Everything else? Either nobody ran, or exactly one person did.
Walsh ran alone for Attorney General and picked up 1,653 votes because that’s what happens when you’re the only option. Dionne did the same for Treasurer, 1,561 votes. Grossi ran unopposed for Congress in the Third District, 1,490 votes.
Then it gets fun. Nine, count them, nine races on the Republican ballot had no candidate on the printed ballot at all. Secretary of State, Auditor, Councillor, Senator in General Court, all three State House districts, District Attorney, and Register of Probate were decided entirely by whoever residents felt like scribbling in.
Anne Brensley led the write-in pack for Secretary of State with 119 votes. A write-in effort for sitting State Auditor Diana DiZoglio, a Democrat, somehow picked up 23 votes on the Republican ballot, because apparently some Methuen Republicans just really like her. District Attorney and Register of Probate didn’t even have a leading write-in name worth reporting, just piles of scattered votes and thousands of blanks.
Which brings me to the Fourth Essex District.
Ken Willette wrote himself in for State Representative and got 24 other votes. Twenty five, total. Out of 456 total ballots cast in that district. Three hundred and forty seven of those same voters looked at the ballot, saw no candidate, and just left it blank rather than write his name down. If you’ve heard Ken talk about this race, you’d think he was running a juggernaut operation. The numbers say otherwise and look as bad as the AI-generated videos he made of himself speaking Spanish during the campaign.
For comparison, next door in the Fifteenth Essex District, Ronald L. Heiseler III wrote himself in too and pulled 839 votes out of 1,152 ballots. That’s what an actual write-in effort looks like when people know your name and show up for you. Anna Levy managed 9 votes out of 337 ballots in the Sixteenth Essex District, so at least Ken’s not in last place.
The Democratic Ballot
Markey beat Moulton for Senate, 2,763 to 1,509. That one was real. Everyone knew it was real. Everything else on this ballot was a coronation.
Healey for Governor, Driscoll for Lieutenant Governor, Campbell for Attorney General, Galvin for Secretary of State, Goldberg for Treasurer, DiZoglio for Auditor, Trahan for Congress, Zeigler for Council, Payano for State Senate, Hamilton for State Rep in the Fifteenth, Reyes for State Rep in the Fourth, Tucker for District Attorney, and O’Brien for Register of Probate. All thirteen ran completely unopposed. Nobody so much as showed up to lose to them.
The one exception, the only other real race on the whole Democratic ballot, was the Sixteenth Essex District State Rep race, where Francisco E. Paulino beat Celina A. Reyes, 408 votes to 307.
Small side note on that Fourth Essex District seat: Estela Reyes ran unopposed on the Democratic side and took 1,096 votes without breaking a sweat. She’ll presumably face off in November against whoever the Republican write-in effort actually nominates, which, again, currently stands at Ken Willette and his 25 votes.
The Scoreboard
Fifteen races on the Republican ballot. Three were real contests. Three had a single unopposed name on the ballot. Nine had nobody on the ballot at all and were decided by write-ins, several of which barely cleared double digits.
Fifteen races on the Democratic ballot. Two were real contests. Thirteen were unopposed coronations.
So if you’re wondering why turnout was under 15 percent, maybe start there.